Quick and Dirty Tips Podcasts

Episode Transcript

Politely Tell Someone Their Zipper Is Down
Episode 18: Monday, September 03, 2007

Hello, and welcome to the Modern Manners Guy’s Quick and Dirty Tips for a More Polite Life.

I was riding the subway, when I noticed a man who had his fly unzipped. I didn't know if it was better to tell him or just ignore the issue. I also wonder if your advice would be the same for men and women, on both sides of the open fly. Thanks very much and enjoy the show.

Sincerely,
Lisa

Thanks to Lisa for listening and taking the time to write in with a question. How to handle the situation of the acrophobic fly is a timeless one. Remember kids asking one another, "Is your fly afraid of heights?" or simply saying, "XYZ-PDQ" or some other quick phrase? When we said these things as children, we did it both to alert a friend about a situation in need of attention, but also to call attention and poke a little harmless fun at the wayward fly. The first intention, alerting someone to a situation that could be embarrassing so as to give the person a chance to fix it, is a good motivation that's worth considering.

USE DISCRETION

Think for a moment if it were you. Would you rather someone tell you, or just pretend nothing was awry? Probably, we would all like for someone to alert us in a way that was discreet and didn't make us feel like it was a major focus of attention. So if you feel comfortable about it and can alert someone without causing him or her additional embarrassment, then it's worth letting the person know about the situation. You can do so very subtlety, with a small zipping gesture, or with a whispered comment as brief as, "check your fly," or the old standby, "XYZ-PDQ" (short for "zip your zipper pretty darn quick").

It may feel more awkward letting a stranger know about the situation, but my guess is that if you can do it discreetly, most people will be appreciative that you let them know. It may feel more uncomfortable doing this across gender lines, so you'll have to judge the situation as well as your own personal comfort. If you are with a person of the opposite gender, then you might consider enlisting the help of your companion if you feel an alert coming from someone of the same gender might be more comfortable.

So here's hoping all your zippers are right where you want them, and thank you for listening to quick and dirty tips for a more polite life.

Send your question and comments to manners@quickanddirtytips.com Or leave a voicemail at 206-666-4MrM. The Modern Manners Guy is part of the quick and dirty tips network. Check out the other great shows at QuickAndDirtyTips.com.

Comments (4) for Politely Tell Someone Their Zipper Is Down | Subscribe to Comment

Jacqueline Says:
9/14/2007 5:01:54 PM

This reminds me of all the times my father went "Ah! Your zipper's open!" and pointed at my pants. He shouted the phrase like a "Hear Ye, Hear Ye" Now I can tell him to say XYC-PDQ which is much less embarrassing.

Cyndall Says:
9/13/2007 7:41:04 PM

Not quite so civilized, but when we were growing up we used to say 'Check your barn door' when someones fly was down. I've used it up to this day, and everyone seems to understand right quick. I've never heard of XYZ-PDQ and if someone said that to me I'd think they were trying to be sly or just plain weird.

Rebecca Says:
9/11/2007 10:29:45 AM

I appreciate this show because I have always wondered how to politely tell a man that his fly is down, without seeming like I've been looking at his crotch. However I must say that I don't agree with the advice to say "XYZ-PDQ". I have never heard of this acronym, and if someone said it to me, I would not know what in the heck they were talking about.

Beth Says:
9/9/2007 11:01:15 PM

Love the show! I always thought XYZ was eXamine Your Zipper instead of zip your zipper. Maybe the phrase was different in other parts of the country, thanks for another great episode!