Episode Transcript

Chewing Gum Etiquette
Episode 93: Monday, August 31, 2009

Modern Manners Guy here. We've chatted about a wide range of manners topics. Many have been above board and stuffy. Some have just been uncomfortable. Today we’ll be discussing  one topic that, until recently, was panned as being just plain rude in most situations. That would be chewing gum. But lately you can find folks chewing gum in staff meetings, during church, and at weddings. We're not going to talk so much about what the world has come to, instead we'll take a look at how to handle our gum in most situations-- and we'll do this right after a word from our very generous sponsor!

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Old Time-y Gum Etiquette

It seems a little antiquated to think of chewing gum being frowned upon in an office setting, but for an amazing number of years it was considered absolutely unprofessional to chew gum while at the office or in a customer service type role like flight attendant or museum tour guide. I'm not sure where "museum tour guide" came from-- just go with it. There is a good solid foundation for this. You wouldn't chew your food in front of your client at a conference table or while talking someone through the Monet section of the museum, therefore you wouldn't chew gum while doing this either.

Recent days have seen the relaxation of work environments and many formal type events are becoming more casual. So I wanted to take a look at some of the things we should keep in mind when considering that double mint, double mint, double mint gum.

Gum Chewing Etiquette: Where?

I think we shouldn't go any further before we determine where gum chewing is appropriate. Though I, Modern Manners Guy find the idea of chewing gum during a staff meeting strange and awkward, you might have more relaxed staff meetings in which people chewing gum is commonplace. As with appropriate attire, follow managements' lead in determining the likelihood that you won't be sacked for chewing gum in the meeting.

Places to hold your gum include in a job interview, at choir practice, and during a business presentation-- even if you're not actually speaking but just part of the presenting team. And the same goes for being in front of people for any situation. Bridesmaids and groomsmen, sitting on stage at graduations, school presentations--think over these situations and try to use common sense. Also, you should spit out your gum if you’ll be in a situation in which you’ll be talking with many people. It's pretty awkward for everyone if you are greeting lots of folks and you are smacking away on your gum-- yes, it is almost impossible to chew gum while talking to people and not either smack or show it to someone.

When Gum Chewing is a Good Idea

Though chewing gum can often be a bad idea, it can actually be useful in a number of situations. I checked with Quick and Dirty Tip’s own Nutrition Diva on this subject, and she had some good advice. She said that chewing a little gum can abate hunger pains and keep your mind off wanting to eat. That just might help you stick to your diet. And of course chewing gum can also help when it comes to bad breath. I asked our own House Call Doctor about this, and he suggested that when in close quarters, minty gum will likely decrease bad breath and increase your stock with those on whom you may be breathing. And while you're at it, you'll be improving your dental hygiene.

And it should be noted that Nutrition Diva and the House Call Doctor belive that sugarless gum is always the way to go.

How to Deal With Loud Gum Chewers

If you’re going to be chewing gum, watch out for the smacking. You would think that those folks who smack their gum would actually hear it and realize the terrible sound they are making. But, alas, they do not. So the next time you are chewing gum, take a second and listen to how you chew. If you are smacking, adjust yourself and others will be grateful.

If you find yourself in close quarters with someone who is smacking away and you just can’t concentrate, do these two things in this order:

Step 1: Look objectively at the situation and determine if it’s absolutely imperative that this person stop smacking their gum before you smack them. In a completely public situation, it’s not everyone’s job to do what you like. If you can move, do so. If you are simply stuck, like on a train, calm yourself. Then if you still can’t handle it, proceed to Step 2.

Step 2: Understand that any action you take might fall on deaf ears. Then politely say, “You seem to be concentrating really hard so I apologize for interupting, but your gum is really loud.” If the culprit doesn't take your hint, add, “If you chew a little more quietly, I promise I won't have a nervous breakdown right here on the train.”

Don't just be a Grumpy Gus and drop that bomb on the person and then retreat. Even a slight-- be it genuine or not--interest in them or what they are reading might ease the weight of your words.

If the loud gum chewer is one of your coworkers, calmly approach them and affect your most matter of fact voice when you say, "Hey there. You probably don't realize it, but you are smacking your gum like a crazy person. I'm having a hard time concentrating. Would you mind being a little softer or waiting until later to chew?"

There is a chance that won't work so make sure you have a backup like big-time noise reducing headphones.

Chewing Gum Bubble Etiquette

Many gum chewers can’t resist the urge to blow bubbles. To the popper of gum, if you are outside or things are really informal, blow all the bubbles you want. Do not, however, do either of these in more formal public settings, especially at work, school, and church. Yes, I did say church. If you are a congregant in a church and can maintain a low key gum chewing session, the activity might help you concentrate. Don't be the trendsetter, though. Some settings are more relaxed than others so, again, use common sense to make your decision.

Politely Disposing of Your Used Gum

Now, when it comes time to dispose of your gum, don't drop it on the street, in the grass, in a water fountain, in a urinal, or stick it to the underside of something. And do not place your used gum on the bumper of someone else's car because when they return to their Manners Mobile and see the sticky mess, it will have even the most mannerly of people thinking unmannerly thoughts. Sorry. Back on track-- the best thing to do is to keep the wrapper and use that wrapper as a sanitary way to transfer the gum from your mouth to the trash. Sometimes gum doesn't come in a wrapper so try to find something similar like a tissue or piece of paper to use in this situation. And there are trash cans about every 20 feet so you don't have any excuses for not actually putting it in one.

These last two suggestions are usually best when done with discretion.

If you are going to use your fingers to discard your gum, —Here’s a quick and dirty tip: touch the tips of your fingers to your tongue to get them a little wet before grabbing the gum. That will keep the gum from sticking to your fingers during the transfer. And wash those hands when you're done.

Should you be without paper or are just totally grossed out by touching your used gum, spitting your gum out directly into the garbage is acceptable but only when done with the utmost discretion. This is not something to be done in front of others.

A final recap: Use common sense to know where to chew your gum, keep your noise level down so you're not distracting to someone else, and always dispose of your gum in a waste bin when you are finished with it. Following these simple rules will keep your manners in tip top shape should you choose to chew some gum.

Administrative

Thank you for listening to The Modern Manners Guy's Quick and Dirty Tips for a More Polite Life. Be sure to try GoToMeeting today FREE for 30 days. Just visit GoToMeeting.com/podcast. That’s GoToMeeting.com/podcast. Do more and travel less with Go To Meeting.

I offer a special thanks to The Nutrition Diva and The House Call Doctor for their advice on this topic. Go find out more about their wonderful podcasts at quickanddirtytips.com 

If you have a comment or suggestion, email me, the Modern Manners Guy, at manners@quickanddirtytips.com. Or feel free to leave a voicemail at (206) 666-4MRM.

There are transcripts of this and all my other episodes at manners.quickanddirtytips.com where you can also find a link to my FaceBook group.  Come on over, become a fan and join in the discussions. And don't forget to tell a friend about your Modern Manners Guy.

The Modern Manners Guy is a part of the Quick and Dirty Tips.


Comments (4) for Chewing Gum Etiquette  |  Subscribe to Comment

Sam Says:
9/30/2009 8:42:12 PM
Thank you for bringing this up. I have super-sonic hearing and spend half my college lectures with one finger shoved in my ear just so I won't hear the gum chewing to my left or right. I know this is extreme, but I actually had to take an incomplete in one class because it was just SO bad from all angles (the gum and people crunching on chips during intense math lectures). I am 27 and back in school and feel like the generation before me has absolutely NO awareness of certain manners that were instilled in my own youth. Anyhow, thank you for the advice on how to approach someone. Sandly, no matter how you do it, it's awkward. I have found a surprising number of people though that are pretty responsive and just need a reminder. Personally, I grieve the loss of the days when gum was banned from classrooms... seriuosly... grieve. :-)
Trent Armstrong Says:
9/12/2009 9:40:29 AM
Flygirl! You should write a book (or at least a blog)! I'm fascinated by your stories!
Flygirl Says:
9/11/2009 11:02:49 PM
Thank you for covering this subject.I have a sinking feeling that the very people that need to hear about this will either not be listening, or think that you can't possibly mean them! Since you mentioned the flight attendant profession, I wanted to share my experience (once again!) with you. I started working for a major airline headquartered in the Deep South in the 1980's, and I was from another part of the country. At the time, it felt like I had stepped into the 1960's. In initial training, we had lovely Southern "House Mothers" policing our behavior. One of the most frequently enforced rules was that a flight attendant was never to be seen: 1. Chewing gum. 2. Smoking (back then, there was still smoking allowed on board the plane...cough-cough.) 3. Walking and eating at the same time. This applied to us from the moment we started training. Even though we were not working in public, wearing uniforms, or even on an airplane as yet. One of my classmates was disciplined in front of the entire group; 100 of us. It seems that she had been reported as chewing gum in the store where we purchased uniform items. As I remember, it was a serious infraction. Every time I see a flight attendant in uniform, walking through the concourse chewing gum and chatting on a cell phone I think that the instructors and house mothers would be horrified!
Traci Says:
9/1/2009 9:38:24 PM
I completely agree with no gum in church. It really drives me crazy to see someone chewing gum in God's house. Call me weird, but I think it's disrespectful as well as distracting to those around you. As a family, we have a no candy, no gum rule during church or even in the building. As far as chewing gum anywhere else, I would think it's a unwritten rule to chew gum without smacking or so no one can hear you. My grandmother used to tease me and my sister when we would "go to town" on our gum. She would say, "if you miss you're going to break a jaw". I think about that often. Thanks again for a great manners episode.

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