Hello, and welcome to the Modern Manners Guy’s Quick and Dirty Tips for a More Polite Life.
Today we'll consider what to do when approached by panhandlers.
When someone approaches you on the street asking for money, you should first consider your safety and ask yourself if you feel threatened in any way. If it is just a run of the mill case of a less fortunate person asking for some help, then you should remember that you are dealing with another human being. This does not mean that you have to give out any money; in fact, most advocates for the homeless and needy suggest making donations to local nonprofit organizations that offer service and support rather than giving out money directly. But while you should not feel the need to give out money, this does not mean that you need to treat another person rudely.
If someone asks you for money, you might say something as simple as, "No, but have a good day," or, "I'm sorry." Of course you should use your judgment and never engage with someone if they are aggressive or appear dangerous, and don't go off the beaten path with someone or put yourself in danger. You should also be aware that the response you receive may not always be positive. But if someone approaches you politely, you should at least acknowledge them. This can become burdensome in large cities with an abundance of panhandlers, but treating others with awareness and respect is generally good when you can manage it.
If you wish a greater level of involvement, you might respond with something like, "I don't give out money, but I would be happy to buy you a piece of fruit or a sandwich." If you are kind enough to make this offer, realize that even if it is accepted, the person who asked for it may not be around when you emerge from the store if his or her goal only was to get money for drugs (but you can always eat the food later yourself). You may also do things like take your leftovers from dinner at a restaurant for someone who might need them, or keep a powerbar or two on hand to give to someone hungry. And of course if you really want to make a difference, work with a local food bank or homeless organization.
In my own experience, I have sometimes received negative or belligerent responses when I've responded with an "I'm sorry," but most of the time it is split between no response and something polite like, "Thanks, have a nice night."
So here's hoping we all can manage to treat one another with kindness and respect, and thank you for listening to quick and dirty tips for a more polite life.
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