When is the last time you really tried hard to become the bane of someone's existence? Maybe you're not trying hard enough. Or maybe you have forwarded one too many emails in your time and you have a whole village somewhere with torches at the ready for the next time you send them something someone else sent to you. You just might have to leave town!
Let's Do the Time Warp
Let's back up and take a look at why this angry mob is hunting you. You might have been minding your own little business when an email swooped into your inbox with the most darling picture of a sleepy cat or a deeply inspirational patriotic slide show or even a chance to win a $500 Gap gift card if four of your closest friends read and pass along your new email.
I know you want each of the 400 people in your address book to see the sweet kitty, but that doesn't really mean each and every one of them wants to. I really hate to break it to you, but forwarding emails like that is pretty close to wandering into someone's home or office and laying a day halting story on them every time you see something shiny.
I'm not saying that what you think is important or funny or totally awesome isn't any of those things. I'm only making a point here so you will stop and think before forwarding your next email to the majority of North America or whichever continent you find yourself on.
People love getting emails almost as much as getting handwritten letters. It's a self-esteem boost when I see that someone has taken time out of their busy day to drop me a note, but most of us want that correspondence to mean something. When looked at in this light, blindly forwarding emails starts to appear impersonal and not very polite.
To Forward? or Not To Forward?
So when is a good time to forward emails? How should it be approached? I'm glad you asked!
I'm not sure I need to say this but forwarding important work emails to the right people so that work can continue smoothly is a given. The "work forward," as long as it pertains to work, is acceptable. There is, however, something that needs to said here. As with "replying to all," one should always refrain from forwarding a work email which contains personal remarks that could be damaging and have absolutely nothing to do with efficient business. Making damaging personal remarks is also not very good manners, and there is no reason for those kind of remarks to be included in a work email in the first place. And even if you didn't write them, forwarding them is still impolite.
The "civic group forward" and the "religious group forward" are also within reason as long as each will ensure that someone is kept in the loop and not accidentally excluded.
Stop, Drop, and Roll Your Mouse Away from the Forward Button
Now to the "friend forward." Even I am smitten by the occasional kitten, but I have a few tips on how to make sure the right people get to see said kitten without having to shut down their current email account on account of me.
Each time you consider forwarding something take the time to consider two things. First, will this person really enjoy what I am sending? And second, does this person have time to read what I am sending? Some of the most powerful emails can be those that take about 5 minutes to read. However, your friend might be busy with a work deadline or a science project when they receive this email from you. Knowing what a wonderful friend you are, they quickly open the email to find that they spent so much time reading your forward they missed their deadline and were so stressed out they never even made it to the part of the email where you're supposed to cry! And then nobody wins!
If you're forwarding just to forward, remove that button from your tool bar until you can bring yourself to consider why you would like this person to have this information in the first place.
Dear Everyone!
Make it personal. When forwarding an email to a friend, send the email to only one person at a time -- two should be near the top limit. Include a personal note to let them know why you thought they, specifically, would enjoy this email. And keep your forwarding activity to a minimum. Many of us have a friend who sends way too many impersonal forwards and are pretty close to getting their own rule in the spam filter. At that point, even if that person does send a personal email, it is likely to be discarded along with the other emails they sent because they had a whim. Another reason to include a personal note is so that your friend knows the email doesn’t include a virus. It’s good practice to never follow links forwarded by a friend or open an attachment unless there is a note that was clearly written by your friend.
Also, as a further courtesy, remove all the other forward information from the email. Taking out the mile long list of everyone else who sent or received the email and trimming the thing down to only the joke just might prevent one more case of carpal tunnel syndrome.
Turning a Blind Eye
Well, I am fully aware of the odds that you will hear my plea and probably still mass forward an email from time to time. If that is the case, you must at the very least, do me this favor. Put the email addresses in the Blind Carbon Copy or BCC field. If you don't know where that is in your mail program, take the time to ask someone. The last thing any of us needs is a blanket list of every person you know who has ever had an email address. This can really clutter up an email and could even be a privacy concern.
Just to recap, most of us enjoy getting email, but what we really like is to get personal notes from our thoughtful friends who wanted to share life with us instead of the latest puppy versus cardboard box video just because we happened to be in their address book. Intentional emailing will keep you in good standing and will endear you to your electronically mailable friends.
Notes from The Other Side
I haven't yet discussed the issue of being on the receiving end of all these forwards. If you have a friend or co-worker who is constantly filling your inbox with forwards, you have two courses of action as I see it. You can completely ignore the issue and hope that one day the offender actually sends you something worthwhile, or you can politely address the issue with your friend. I have experience with this. A few years ago I had to call my very best friend on the phone and ask him politely to remove me from his forward list. I made sure he knew I enjoyed getting email from him but requested he try to send me just the things he knows I would enjoy. Not uncharacteristically, he took it really well. We are still friends in spite of having to bring that up, and it provided me with working advice on the situation.
Administrative
Thank you for listening to The Modern Manners Guy's Quick and Dirty Tips for a More Polite Life.
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The Modern Manners Guy is part of the Quick and Dirty Tips network which has published its first book -- Grammar Girl's Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing. Buy it now anywhere books are sold.
