Halloween Manners

What are Appropriate Halloween Costumes?

Much of Halloween revolves around costumes. They can range from silly to terrifying so I would like to offer up some pointers on scary attire.  Little kids are prone to be Transformers, princesses, super heroes, or fluffy ducks, but there comes a time when you'll need to start letting your child pick his or her own costume. And that can become a challenge. A pint-sized and bloody military warrior or a seven-year-old version of Fergie (the one from the Black Eyed Peas, not the dutchess) is not appropriate. Parents and quardians, gently guide your little goblin toward age appropriate costumes. And when headed to a church or school sponsored carnival, make sure the costumes are location appropriate too.

For the more mature costume party, I'll simply recommend that you understand your audience. Gross is good when you are sure it's not going to offend, and sexy is safe if you are among a group of friends. Yes, the rest of the community should realize it's Halloween, but dressing appropriately in public is always on the agenda.

As for political costumes, check your motives down to "jest" and stay away from making rude statements. It's easy to default to being mean so try to be creative and clever.

Trick or Treat Manners

Sadly, not everyone is into having fun, and most of those folks keep their porch lights off on All Hallows Eve. Please respect their wishes. If a house is dark, don't approach it. At the very least, you'll be disturbing someone's evening, but you could also be met with frustration. So if the lights are off, move along.

Similarly, there really is a time limit on how long one should trick or treat. 8:30PM is pushing the limit in most neighborhoods, and 9PM is a great time to shut it down. If you don't have enough loot by then, you should start a little earlier next time.

Ring or knock once. The amount of candy given to a child is inversely proportional to the number of times the doorbell is rung. Also, don't peak in the house. That is never okay.

When the giver of candy does come to the door, parents, encourage your kids to say, "trick or treat!" That's why it's called trick or treat!! It's like a little game or even a business transaction. The kid who shows up in a headband with a black eye and a pillowcase had better give me a heartfelt "trick or treat" or that kid isn't getting any candy. You can phone your costume in, but the person handing out the candy is also part of the equation and half the fun for them is hearing the magic words. Speaking of magic words, all children must say, "thank you," upon receiving their treats. Throwing a "Happy Halloween" in the mix will sweeten the deal.

One final word on trick or treating. When teenagers mix and match their costumes and hit the same house twice, it starts to look like begging.

The Manners of Handing Out Candy

Not everyone can be home on Halloween-- even those of us who enjoy it. If you must be gone, try to leave your porch lights off this one night. It totally kills the efficiency when a kid has to stand in front of your house wondering if you're not coming or if he should just wait a few more minutes while you get the "good" candy.

And just realize that if you leave a bowl of candy outside with the honor system sign on it, your candy might all be gone in the first few minutes. I have been to a house where little bags were lined up for the kids in the homeowner's absence. That seemed to be a more convincing way to encourage the "one treat per child" guideline.

If you are home, try to be quick on the draw. Nothing kills the moment more for kids than thinking someone isn't home and getting half way to the street before turning back whenthe slow homeowner opens the door. After that, everything is just half-hearted.

The Manners of Being Scary

It’s true that much of Halloween is actually wrapped up in being scary and being scared. But I suggest that you temper yourself and make sure that any pranks don't last longer than they should. Spooking kids when they come to your door is really funny, but keeping the act up for more than a few seconds becomes socially awkward. Most folks like to be startled; just make sure the level of terror is age appropriate. And finish the gag with a whopping handful of candy that will make your house a fond Halloween memory instead of a story recounted years later in a counseling session.

If someone scares you, understand that this is the actual point of the evening. Getting angry and trying to get even is not in the spirit of the season. Try to take it all in good fun. And should you be totally averse to being frightened, just let everyone know ahead of time so they can make arrangements to terrify others instead.

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