The Holiday Party

Hello, all. Modern Manners Guy here.

The holiday season is fast approaching as is the holiday-party-going season. And while this time of the year can be a lot of fun, it's no excuse to send your manners on holiday.

As you all know, there are several types of parties that take place over the holiday season: the family and friends party, the work party, and the organization/club party; and each of these have different protocols that must be followed to ensure that you will secure an invite for the following year.

FAMILIES AND FRIENDS

For some of us, the holidays are the part of the year wherein our families and friends set aside all of the bitterness and hard feelings that we've spent the better part of 10 months amassing and come together to celebrate the consumption of entirely too much food. For the rest of us, your host included, the holiday's are a time to truly appreciate the things that matter most to us in life, be it our faith, our friends, our families, or some delightful combination of these known as The Holiday Party.

Now, as a guest to a holiday party of friends and family, even though the situation is typically relaxed, there are a few rules that you should remember.

First, always remember to ask the host if there is anything that you can bring to the party. Though they will likely thank you and decline the offer, offering is the polite thing to do. Also, you are making yourself available for the last minute life-saver phone call to "stop and grab a bag of ice on your way over" when the host simply cannot get away-- an indispensable gesture.

Next, when attending a family and friend party, it is a good idea to bring a gift for the host. It needn't be overly extravagant or expensive, but it should say, "I recognize the time and effort that you've put into this party, and I appreciate what you have done." That's a lot for a gift to say, but I assure you your host will be grateful.

Remember to be helpful during the party. Even little things like, managing your own trash and picking up the occasional slack when another guest isn't as vigilant as you are can be a huge help to the person throwing the party. After the guests leave at midnight, somebody has to be up until 2 a.m. putting the house back together, so every little bit helps.

THE WORK PARTY

The work party is a unique animal in that few of the people attending actually want to be there -- I'm being a little facetious, but you know what I mean. There's always something slightly awkward about a work party. That being the case, let's review a few things to keep in mind while attending an office party.

First, remember that you are basically at work, and your best behavior should be on display. It's easy to find yourself sitting with people who you rarely see in the office. And while the dude from the mailroom might think your lampshade-headed table dance is one for the books, it's likely that Mrs. Dunbar, the HR director will find it one for an entirely different sort of book.

Second, I believe that it's always safest to dress better than you would to an ordinary day at the office, unless of course the party is either during work or immediately after. The little extra effort can go a long way. Fellas, for example, should get out the suit and tie. It's easier to take off a jacket at a party when you realize that you're overdressed than it is to fashion one out of napkins when you realize that you're lacking.

Next, for me, the general rule is never go to a party hungry. Even when the end of the night is coming on and there is plenty of food left, avoid being one of the guys or gals hovering by the buffet table shoveling cheese cubes into their mouths. You will be remembered for this and not your relaxed and confident "Electric Slide."

Last, and certainly not least, is the consumption of alcohol. Remember that you are technically at work. People can and have lost jobs after holiday party performances. Moderation is the key, though if that is a struggle for you, "not at all" should be the rule.

THE ORGANIZATION PARTY

The PTA shindig, the Sunday school social, the Friends of the Aquarium Bash, heck even the Friends of Enemies Blowout -- these are all working examples of the organization party. Understand that the organization party is not necessarily unlike the work party. Actually, it's almost like the work party mixed with the friends and family party populated almost entirely with people you see roughly once a week or month and typically know little about. That said, let's discuss ways to successfully navigate this type of party.

Again, remember to dress nicely and neutrally. As much as everyone loves a reindeer sweater, there is a time and a place for this. It's probably safer to stay with a conservative/professional attire. Wearing something classic and tasteful will leave a much better impression than the aforementioned reindeer sweater or the overtly sexual outfit.

Mingling is essential if these parties are meant to be anything other than an exercise in awkwardness. Make a sincere effort to break out of your shell and get to know a couple of people. This can help your organization run more smoothly in general, and the conversations you have could make great networking opportunities. Not to mention that having the mayor on speed-dial might prove useful one day. If you're unsure of how to get that conversation rolling, check out some of the episodes by The Public Speaker covering this topic.

With these tips I hope that you will be successful at navigating the minefield that is the holiday-party-going season. If you loosen up (or tighten up -- you know who you are) you should be able to have fun and have people remember what a joy you were as a guest. Please join us next week as we finish up the holiday party series by discussing how to be a good date or guest-of-a-guest at a party.

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Thanks for listening to The Modern Manners Guy's Quick and Dirty Tips for a More Polite Life. And thanks to Colin Smith of The MannersCast for guest-writing this episode. You can hear more from Colin and the guys of The MannersCast at mannerscast.com.

Transcripts of this show can be found at manners.quickanddirtytips.com.