Thanks for listening and writing in with your question, Michelle. It is common practice to say, "Hello; how are you?" When we use this with friends, we do want to know how they are. When we use it with colleagues and acquaintances, we don’t necessarily ask it in a literal sense, but figuratively, as part of a customary greeting.  Some might suggest there is a certain insincerity in asking a question to which one isn't interested in the answer, but it is in common use and the meaning is generally understood. Of course in the best of worlds, we would all be sincere in both our questions and answers. But the more important thing when you ask, "Hello, how are you?" to a colleague or acquaintance is that you are trying to greet them in a polite way, and that is not an effort for which you should be penalized. There are just some people who have difficulty reading social cues, and may overstep boundaries. So here are a few suggestions.

Rather than avoiding your colleague, you might greet him with something that offers less room for lengthy response like, "Hello, nice to see you," or simply, "Hi John," and offer him a smile as you pass by.

If he still finds a way to corner you (perhaps by asking how your are first so you return the question) you might have to say something like, "Sorry I don't have time to chat; I've got a bunch of work to finish up." If the situation becomes more serious, then you may have to have a more direct conversation about the topic. We covered some similar issues a while back in a show about uninvited guests, and we'll put a link in the transcript to that show.

So here's hoping your polite greetings are always returned in kind, and thank you for listening to quick and dirty tips for a more polite life.

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