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Now, when the weekend rolls around, I'm probably headed to the movies. I think most of us are ready to ditch school or work and get away from The Man. Maybe even The Man gets a little tired of being stuffy and wants to loosen that tie for a bit and get a little crazy. It’s fine to go nuts and unwind without any rules if you're going to lock yourself in your home, but if you plan on joining the rest of society at the beacon of entertainment known as the cinema, there are some things to consider.
A Night at the Movies
The movie theater is a strange beast. Little pockets of society grouping together for shared entertainment while all facing the same direction in the dark. It's not really a place for group participation like a concert; it's not really a cultural event for dressing up. It is, however, a great place to ruin someone else's evening if you relax your manners.
Behind Enemy Lines
Something that might seem familiar about the movies is the concept of a line. I recently had an episode on lines and queuing so feel free to revisit that with a few theater line caveats in mind. People arriving from different locations and meeting their friends at the theater change the dynamic. I think, as a group, we have come to understand that the first-come-first-served approach to theater seating means accepting that people will be saving their friends’ place in line. Even if the person intending to join someone already in line was prevented from cutting the line, his or her friend would just be able to save them a seat in the theater anyway.
So, a little grace should be offered those who join others in line, except when a big group of latecomers means 150 people will have to adjust. Large groups should not disrupt the line and if their joining the line would displace anyone from his or her current spot, they should wait at the back of the line instead.
Movie Theater Seating Etiquette and Using The Force
Once in the theater, it's important to remember a few seating manners. If the film is a new release or is certain to be full, make an effort to not leave empty seats between yourself and the nearest party. That one buffer seat seems appropriate until it forces an usher to ask you to move down. Go ahead and take it upon yourself to squeeze in so those sitting after you don't have to wonder if the seat is taken. If you happen to be the poor patron who is tasked with finding two seats together on a row of every-other-seats, be kind about requesting others to shift. I usually ask like this: "Excuse me. Is that seat taken? I don't like to impose, but would you mind scooting one seat?" Then wrap that awkward conversation up with a very humble "thank you."
Additionally, don't flop into your seat since the person behind you might value their knees, remember that everyone gets at least one arm rest, and do your absolute best to keep your feet to yourself when someone is sitting in the seat in front of you.
Also, it's just plain selfish to place coats or other articles in the seat next to you to prevent someone else from sitting there. If it's that big a deal for you to not sit next to someone, sit on the aisle, against the wall, or on the sofa in the comfort of your own home.
Cellular Etiquette at the Movies
Allow me to be frank here. Turn your cell phones to silent and do not text during the show. If you think the babysitter might be calling, keep your phone on silent and yourself at the ready. Should you need to take that call, do not take it in the theater. Excuse yourself and move to the breezeway or the lobby.
Let’s say that someone near you has taken a call during the picture. If this person does not get off the phone quickly, please offer them a polite “Shhhh.” Not curt and not too loud—simply something to remind them that others are in the process of trying to enjoy the film. Prolonged activity in the theater other than movie-watching warrants a trip to the manager. Be polite and mention that he or she might want to look in on the theater and keep an eye on any disturbances.
Does the Kid Stay in the Picture?
Another type of disturbance might be a child. I’m not saying that children shouldn’t be allowed to attend a movie showing. However, it is important for their guardians to remember that most children do not know anything about movie theater etiquette. It is up to the adult to maintain control of the kids and move them out of the theater if need be so as not to bother the other patrons. Kicking seats, talking loudly, and wandering up and down the aisle are completely inappropriate for adults, therefore these things are not appropriate for children.
Vanishing Point
As we’ve already seen, it's not uncommon for folks to need to leave the theater. However, I've noticed a strange phenomenon where someone will take the long way out of their row to keep from disturbing their family members or friends. Please take the shortest route to the aisle. Stay low, stay quiet, and move quickly. If you've had more than your share of soda before the film, you might place yourself near the end of the row in order to minimize the number of people you disturb with your multiple trips.
Oh, and do not text during the film.
Jaws
Now, movie snacks are just part of going to the cinema. That's half the charm! Just be mindful of your noise level during the show. The last sip of a drink should be before the slurp. Popcorn should be chewed with one's mouth shut. Pickles, while mostly relegated to the Southern United States, should be eaten as quietly as possible and hopefully finished and discarded before the film. That's not really much of a rule as much as it is my personal preference.
Finally, while the film is running, do not talk with your mouth open. The middle of act two is not the appropriate time to catch up on the film with your friend, and I can all but guarantee that no one is interested in your in-film commentary. Again, if someone around you continues to talk, a simple “shhhh” might take care of the situation. Or as well as with a case of unruly children, a trip to the manager might help and could make you a hero.
Many of us love going to the movies and should do our best to make sure it's also a pleasant experience for those around us. So carry along your best manners, use good movie theater etiquette, and enjoy the show!
Administration
Thanks for listening to The Modern Manners Guy's Quick and Dirty Tips for a More Polite Life.
I would be really interested in knowing what topics you, the listener, would like to hear in more detail in my very first audio book. Send in your suggestions or any other comments to manners@quickanddirtytips.com or 206-666-4MRM.
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