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Modern Manners Guy host Trent Armstrong grew up in the southern United States where manners were an everyday part of life. However, he noticed that through the years it seemed manners were taking a back seat to the whims of a selfish society. Trent thought it was about time that America and the world were reintroduced to manners and he promises to help us all improve our manners until we're all living a more polite life -- or until the Internet shuts down.

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The Manners of Passing Gas

Episode 1: January 21, 2007
Out and About | Personal Hygiene

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Hello, and welcome to the Modern Manners Guy’s Quick and Dirty Tips for a More Polite Life.

Today’s topic: It’s a gas!

Sometimes listeners write in with the funniest questions--this one is not for the sensitive listener, and today we’ll be both quick and dirty.

In a message entitled, “Quick and Smelly Tip,” JH writes,

“What is the best way to deal with passing gas? Pretend it didn't happen? A polite ‘Excuse me'? Bail out early on plans? Please advise. My sister and I have been debating this one.”

Thank you for writing, JH, and I have to admit you made me chuckle with your question. But let me offer some suggestions.

First of all, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure--if you know that certain foods make you gassy, try to avoid them if you can when you know you’re going to be in a social situation. But if you’re stuck with gas and a crowd of people, here are a few thoughts:

If you can hold it in without causing yourself medical distress, then try to keep it contained until you are in a better place or situation.
Excuse yourself and go to the bathroom, even if it is just to pass some gas. This is thoughtful of other people and less embarrassing for you.
If you absolutely can’t contain it, then excuse yourself, but do so discreetly.
If your emission is odorless and silent, then you might do well not to call any further attention to the situation.
If it’s silent but deadly, you might consider the humorous approach if it is a casual setting, and relieve the tension by excusing yourself and blaming the non-existent dog.
If it’s too late for discretion and it’s an informal group, you could add a little wit when you excuse yourself, saying something like, “Please excuse me, in addition to Jupiter and Saturn, it seems I’m another gas giant.”

Now I realize these suggestions may cause a little controversy, so I invite you to visit manners.quickanddirtytips.com to add your comments and suggestions to the posted transcript. Perhaps other listeners have a few helpful suggestions they would like to add to this.

And thank you for listening to quick and dirty tips for a more polite life.

Send your question and comments to manners@quickanddirtytips.com Or leave a voicemail at 206-666-4MrM. The Modern Manners Guy is part of the quick and dirty tips network. Check out the other great shows at QuickAndDirtyTips.com

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Angela
1/14/2010 5:30:14 PM

Blame it on a co worker nobody else likes... just kidding... go to a bathroom on another floor and hope nobody else is around to hear before letting loose. If so, say excuse me to the offended party and hope they don't tell everyone else.

D
6/24/2008 11:21:34 PM

In teaching 5th Grade students, my experience is dealing with the comments and rudeness of others who "smell" the gas and point fingers. I do my best to inform them that your body releasing gas is a natural bodily function. Students don't point fingers when someone sneezes or blinks. Things happen and usually at the most inconvenient time. It is how we react in those times that reveal our maturity level and sense of responsibility.

BurghGirl
5/20/2008 11:42:20 AM

What about in formal situations? Like at an office meeting from which you can't excuse yourself?

BurghGirl
5/20/2008 11:40:30 AM

Re: Carol's friends & family question

I have dated men in the past with whom I felt comfortable enough to "be myself." However, I have been with my current partner for six years (sharing a house for 2 yrs), and I would be quite embarrassed if I let one slip in his presence. I'm not sure what the difference is, and I don't believe I've ever thought about it until you posed the question. I suppose you know how to act around your family based on how they act (and react) around you. If you would appreciate your loved ones removing themselves from the room before offending the air, then I'm sure they'd appreciate the same from you. I would think it a rarity to find a person who is okay with you unapologetically passing gas in his or her presence. "Do unto others..!"

Carol
5/15/2008 1:43:17 PM

What about passing gas in the presence of intimate partners, friends or family members? In your own home? Should you inconvenience yourself by getting up to leave the room, or just be comfortable and free to let this natural process occur?

Sara
2/26/2008 8:11:29 AM

Often, as most of us know, sulfurous foods like broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, and eggs are the cause. Also fibrous foods like beans, greens, and even whole grain breads can be the culprit. What a lot of people don't know is that if you eat these foods regularly and incorporate a lot of fiber into your diet, your system will become accustomed to them and create much less gas. Therefore, the real problem is a diet that is very low in fiber and vegetables, causing your system to "forget" how to deal with these very healthy foods. As an aside, when I stopped eating dairy products my gas problems disappeared almost completely. Many people are not technically allergic to dairy, but will still get gassy.

Melissa
6/4/2007 1:49:18 AM

For a while, I had the problem of not having to
pass gas, but to have it inside, making noise that everyone could hear. Luckily
they didn't know it was me! Gas really gets to you - especially me since I'd
have this problem without warning. I'd be in a quiet classroom, leaning on my
left, thinking I could do something about it. I'd never be able to concentrate.
After finally seeing a doctor, he advised me to stop drinking carbonated beverages
and artificially sugared drinks. Taking his advise, the gas has never returned,
and now I am a little more carerful as to when and how much soda I drink. I strongly
suggest that if you are prone to gas a lot, you should consult a doctor and see
if you can trace the problem through habits.

liberteabelle
2/18/2007 10:32:27 PM

Dear Mr. Manners,

Please advise your listeners regarding modern manners while interviewing. For
instance, I have friends who no longer believe it is necessary to send a thank
you note following a face-to-face interview.

Thank you, and keep up the excellent work!

Regards,
CJ

Kevin
1/29/2007 3:53:41 AM

Personally,
even if the guilty person could only be, I still point to my 2 year old.

I find that the realization of an imminent "trumpet" comes suddenly, leaving
me little time to react.

Should I make it to the washroom, more often then not it becomes obvious in a
short time what my reasons were for excusing myself.

It's best for me to avoid the causes where possible with choosing eaten foods
wisely.

Liz
1/25/2007 1:18:21 PM

I work at an all male boarding school.
Needless to say, it can get quite smelly here at times. I have found the easiest
solution is to keep a bottle of Fabreeze close at hand so I can at least walk
through the room without holding my breath....

Ian
1/23/2007 12:28:34 PM

In my experience, if you are the guilty one,
the best way out would be a discreet "Excuse me." However, if you are one of
those affected, don't bring it up into the conversation as it will embarrass
the person who did do it.

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The Manners of Passing Gas

“What is the best way to deal with passing gas? Pretend it didn't happen? A polite ‘Excuse me'? Bail out early on plans? Please advise. My sister and I have been debating this one.”

If you can hold it in without causing yourself medical distress, then try to keep it contained until you are in a better place or situation.

Excuse yourself and go to the bathroom, even if it is just to pass some gas. This is thoughtful of other people and less embarrassing for you.

If you absolutely can’t contain it, then excuse yourself, but do so discreetly.

If your emission is odorless and silent, then you might do well not to call any further attention to the situation.

If it’s silent but deadly, you might consider the humorous approach if it is a casual setting, and relieve the tension by excusing yourself and blaming the non-existent dog.

If it’s too late for discretion and it’s an informal group, you could add a little wit when you excuse yourself, saying something like, “Please excuse me, in addition to Jupiter and Saturn, it seems I’m another gas giant.”

Send your question and comments to manners@quickanddirtytips.com Or leave a voicemail at 206-666-4MrM. The Modern Manners Guy is part of the quick and dirty tips network. Check out the other great shows at QuickAndDirtyTips.com